Her Ladyship

Notes from the gutter.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Shocked and outraged

One of the many good things about having the Washington Post as your hometown rag is that it offers not one, not two, but THREE pages of comics. Unlike other national papers who think their shit don't stink and that they're too good for comics (coughNYTimescough). Anyways, while there are several good ones, there are a few bad ones - seriously, who likes Prickly City?" - and quite a bit of mediocre ones. Up until last week, "Sally Forth" fell distinctly into the third category. With the latest storyline, however, I hope that Sally Forth rots in hell.

It started off with Sally thanking her 10-year-old, Hillary, for having cleaned out the kitty litter for the past five days. Hillary denies having done it and only then does Sally realize that there is something wrong with the cat (whose name is "Kitty." Don't get me started on that). How can you have an indoor cat and not realize that they haven't, er, produced anything for five freaking days? And what were they doing for the cat's food - just piling the kibble up in the dish, idly wondering where the cat was? Or did they assume that "someone else" was feeding the cat too?

Soon, the whole family is searching for Kitty, who is eventually found curled up in its own vomit in corner of the basement. Jesus Mary and Joseph, what kind of crap-tastic pet-owner doesn't realize that their CAT is MISSING for FIVE DAYS? I mean, I could see if you were out of town and the pet-sitter didn't see the cat or something. I have friends who have a big scaredy-cat who will hide under the bed every time I come over, even though he's lived with me for several months and has only been treated with love and respect. (I swear, G&T and ZFF!) So if someone else were taking care of him and didn't know to check under the bed, they might not realize that anything was wrong.

But the kitty litter should've given Sally Forth et al some clue. No matter what kind of dry spell your cat is going through, production-wise, I can gua-ran-tee that it will put *something* in that box over the course of five days.

Anyways, poor Kitty is rushed to the vet, where they find out that a $3400 operation is needed to unblock her colon or something. Will Kitty get the operation? Will Sally continue to be a heartless bitch? This being the comics, and not "For Better or For Worse," pets aren't allowed to die, so - spoiler - they decide to pay for the operation. They have to give up their trip to Paris to do so though. HA HA. Next time, pay attention to your cat so that it's not sick for five days before you seek medical care for it. And this is too little, too late, Sally Forth. You can't spend away your guilt for neglecting your pet. I fervently hope that Kitty has the operation, recovers completely, and then runs away to a family that appreciates her.

Now that I've blown my cover and shown myself to be a full-blown raving lunatic about cats, I feel I can share this website about pet restraints which has been making me laugh all day. Thanks, http://chezmiscarriage.blogs.com/. I can't decide which one is the best. I mean, the leather muzzle is pretty fantastic, but I'm enjoying figuring out how exactly someone came up with the dixie cup muzzle. http://www.vetmed.wsu.edu/ClientED/cat_restraint.asp


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