Her Ladyship

Notes from the gutter.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Time to clean the old homestead

My apartment did get a bit dusty while I was gone, I must admit - fur and other airborne particles just swirl and eddy all over my hardwood floors - but it wasn't that bad. Not call-in-the ASPCA-bad; maybe just keep-your-inhaler-handy bothersome.

But yesterday I discovered that it's time to either clean the place up or burn it down, I'm not sure which. I was sitting on my (oh so beautiful) toilet, just zoning out before going to bed, when I felt my cat nuzzling my ankle. I looked down to pet him, only to realize that Shrapnel was across the room.

What was tickling my foot was one of those many-legged bugs that thrive on dust and tend to live in older homes. It was HUGE and fluttering and o the legs. So many legs. I immediately started screaming like a little girl and flailing about, or as much as one can flail when indisposed on top of the crapper.

Except the bug would. not. move. It clamped onto my ankle and rode along like a rodeo champ. There apparently is a super-race of bugs living in Adams-Morgan; bet the suckers paying in the mid-500's for the renovated lofts down the street weren't informed of that.

I finally managed to knock it off with a bag of kitty litter clumps, causing them to spill out over my (formerly oh so beautiful) toilet. Tonight I am going to bleach-bomb the bathroom. See how much the uber-bug likes that.


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