@#%^@#% snow

The weather in DC, to be blunt, sucks. It's a dank swamp in the summer and a frozen wasteland in the winter. EVERY winter, I might add. So you'd think that the District would be somewhat prepared for this thing known as "snow" and have a snowplow or two, maybe some salt trucks, on hand. But nope. Every time it's like we're living directly on the equator and never in a jillion years could anyone have anticipated that this wet cold stuff would fall on us from the sky.

The only good consequence of this refusal to face reality is that it takes very little snow to shut down the city. And I mean, *very* little. We're talking a quarter of an inch. So in the winter, we very often get snow days at the drop of a hat. I live near enough my job that I can (and do) walk to work, but I figure that if god wants me to have a snow day, who am I to risk incurring his wrath? Some of my fondest memories here in DC have been the day after a snowfall, where I and my federally-employed friends treated ourselves to long, luxurious lunches, followed by cup after cup of coffee as we mocked the few private sector employees of our acquaintance.

So why am I being toyed with? For the second weekend in a row, we've gotten three inches of snow... on a Saturday. This does me no good - the snow is always dissipated by Monday, granting no kind of reprieve from a five-day work week. Additionally, the cold weather has been wreaking havoc with my skin. My lips are all sorts of cracked. I went into a meeting on Friday unaware that I was trailing blood down my chin from an overzealous yawn. I tried to rectify matters by putting gloss on the affected areas, but it was a colored lip gloss, which is good for looking sassy but not so good for healing chapped lips. I bought some more appropriate balm yesterday - let the healing begin.

It is only February - wait, almost February - so we have some time left for a real solid snowfall. The latest one in the calendar year that I remember occurred on March 8, 1999. Two years ago we got dumped with snow over President's Day weekend. That turned out to be excellent timing because it was right after they'd jacked up the threat level and you couldn't watch the news without seeing a story about how to use duct tape and plastic sheeting to seal yourself into a nice little tomb. The snow proved to be a much-needed distraction, since it was something tangible that you could do something about, as opposed to just blindly waiting and hoping that we wouldn't be the test bioterror case for the emergency response system.

So, I plead: come on Mother Nature - do your best. Bring 'em on!