Her Ladyship

Notes from the gutter.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Reading is essential

Last week, I bowed to the inevitable and bought some Crest white-strips for my quickly yellowing teeth. I can't imagine why I need them - I mean, I only drink four servings a day of coffee/soda. Ahem.

Anyways, I tried them the other night. I very carefully applied the plastic strips to the fronts of my teeth. The first thing I did was accidentally swallow one. No problem, I thought - they'll dissolve like those rice papers you see on Chinese candies, right? Completely edible, but maybe a little gross? Just like rind on brie.

Um, no. The second thing I did was read the directions. Yes, it would've made more sense to have done that at the very beginning. I'm not entirely sure why I skipped it; I guess I thought that they were fool-proof. Not so much. Emblazoned all over the box and the instructions was DO NOT SWALLOW PLASTIC. Okay, when you look at it that way, I would have to admit that it probably wasn't the brightest idea to ingest it. And if I hadn't had been the person to do so, I probably would've mocked whoever required that sort of warning. Then again, I have been known to iron clothes while wearing them.

Anyways, I've had this psychosomatic lump in my throat ever since. Other than that, no harm no foul and all that.


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