Her Ladyship

Notes from the gutter.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

A clarification and a helpful hint

I realize that the PS to the last post may have been somewhat misleading. I know that there are magazines missing from the reading room of San Antonio's fertility clinic because they are showing up, address labels intact, at my gym. I realize that that little piece of information is kind of crucial to the story. Apologies for any confusion. Just to be clear: no bun in my oven, none planned for the near future (KNOCK WOOD). We are getting married in less than two months* and are spending way too much money for me to be limited to watching others enjoy the open bar.

Now, to make up for the unclear post, a hint for you cat owners. If no other punitive measures work on the little fuckers, this will: compressed air in a can. You know, the kind you use to clean out your keyboard? Shrapnel responds to that like nobody's business. We don't aim it at his face or anything, but a few squirts at his ass and he has learned to run every time the can gets picked up. You're welcome.

* While I didn't think I was stressed about wedding planning - we've spaced everything out nicely and are pretty much just filling in the blanks now - for the past week or so I have been hit with a weird form of insomnia where I can fall asleep without any problem but wake up for at least a couple of hours every night. Last night I got to sleep in...until 4:30AM. That was a good night's sleep compared to some nights. Whine whine whine. Could be worse, I guess: my sister started grinding her teeth in her sleep before her wedding.

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