Her Ladyship

Notes from the gutter.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Trick of the trade

(This is a nod to the DefectiveYeti.com's on-going list, TradeTricks.org)

Last night, I had an especially chatty cabdriver taking me home from National airport (and I meant to say National, not "Reagan National." Those revisionists can take that moniker and shove it where the sun don't shine). He was asking me the usual - where I'd been, how my holidays were going, what were my New Year's plans - and volunteered that he was working on Friday night. I commented something along the lines of, "You must have to deal with a lot of drunks on New Year's Eve." He immediately started a litany of how many inebriated passengers have recently passed out in his cab. Normally, when he can't wake them, he has to call the cops, but he said he didn't like to do that because the cops could get a little rough with the passengers. (I know, shocking: DC's finest acting less than honorably? Never!).

But - getting to my point - he has an ace up his sleeve. When the passenger is stone-cold out, he rubs some Windex or window-wiper fluid - something with ammonia - on his fingers and holds them under the comatose nose. Nine times out of ten, the passenger bolts upright immediately.

And that's my holiday gift to you. Use it wisely this New Year's Eve.


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