Her Ladyship

Notes from the gutter.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Free at last

After much rending of garments and whining to friends, colleagues, and slow-footed strangers on the street, I was finally, finally! able to get my driver's license on Friday. It was touch-and-go all the way though.

HotPantsEsquire kindly agreed to escape her job Friday afternoon and drive me down to the DMV test facility in Brentwood, NE (their slogan? now with more anthrax!) (lame insider-DC joke about the anthrax spores that contaminated the USPS facility there three years ago) (god am I brain-dead, as if that weren't glaringly apparent) . So off we went, her driving and me chattering hysterically about the test and her car's characteristics. At one point I was so anxious to get the car test-ready - which basically boiled down to removing the Union Jack flag from the rear-view mirror, as the car was already spotless - HotPantsEsquire had to tell me to cool it and to get my mitts off of her bottle of Coke, which I was *thisclose* to throwing out before she could drink it.

Her car needed gas, so we stopped at the station on Rhode Island and NY Avenue to fill 'er up. There, she let me pull donuts in the parking lot so I could get used to the way her car's pedals worked. I even got fancy and backed up a bit, in case they needed me to show them I could drive backwards in a straight line. I know, I was only getting a non-commercial driver's license, not learning how to drive defensively for the CIA. I told you I got a little carried away.

We get to the Brentwood DMV facility which is conveniently located smack dab in the middle of a mini-mall, because it's not like people will be driving there and needing a parking lot or anything. Oh wait.

Both of us had to go inside and she had to hand over her license, registration, and proof of insurance. (Embarrassing sidenote: I kind of lost it when I was there for the first time on Monday, so when I walked up the pathway on Friday, the same security guard who was on deck earlier recognized me. He immediately started cheering me on, saying, "No need to worry - you know you can do this!" He was very good in bolstering my confidence.) They took down the information and told me to go sit in the car where I would wait for the examiner. It was in the 90s and humid as all get out, which makes simmering in the car a pleasant experience.

I only had to wait maybe two minutes for the tester to come over and enter the car. I tried to butter her up with a cheerful "hi!" and some chatter, but she was having none of it. Which was just as well, since I was starting to panic about finding the lap belt (shut up. it was tucked away in the back. you would've had a hard time finding it too) and I needed to focus all my attention on retrieving it. Which I did. Eventually.

The test itself was very short: maybe less than five minutes of driving, just zip down a hill, make two rights, and zip back up the hill and back into the overcrowded parking lot. And even though the tester snapped at me at one point to "pay attention!" (I didn't make a left turn fast enough, and some jackhole behind me honked his horn), I still passed. Yay!

It ended with the nice security guard congratulating me on my driver's license. I couldn't have done it without him. Oh, and HotPantsEsquire, of course, who I owe my first-born to. Thanks chica!

One final thing on this issue: as god is my witness, I will never, EVER let my driver's license lapse again. When I think of all the angst my crappy organizational skills have caused me... Let this be a lesson to you kids.

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