Her Ladyship

Notes from the gutter.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

You're not cool anymore when...

...you schedule your whole day around heading out to the grocery store to turn in your masses of plastic bags for one! free! canvas! bag!!! Seriously, I got home Monday night around midnight from a work trip and immediately started hassling The Texan about the store, did we need anything at the store, don't take the car because I need to go to the store during very specific hours, hey remember the store trip, etc etc. Then when I got there, HEB got very clingy about its canvas bags and would only give one per customer. Suckers, I'm coming back every day you're running this so I can unload all the crappy plastic bags we've been saving for no apparent reason.

I don't know why the thought of a free canvas bag got me all atwitter - usually I reserve that level of excitement for an open bar - but hey, take your ups where you can. I'd like to say it's because I love Mother Earth, and I am very fond of her, but it's more the concept of freebies. I guess I'll never outgrow the broke college student mentality.

The work trip was to visit our northern brethren in the great state of Alaska. On the way there, I got delayed for another idiotic reason: our airplane's windshield wipers weren't working and they had to swap us to a plane who had working components. I had thought that at the speeds airplanes fly windshield wipers wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but apparently they are.

I had been worried about Alaska, as the last time I was there it was minus 20 degrees. Checking the weather on Thursday did little to assuage my fears, as it was 31 degrees and snowing. In April! But by the weekend, it had warmed up to the 50s and was, well, freaking gorgeous. I can see the attraction of living there. Sort of. I don't think I'm crunchy enough though. While I can appreciate in theory kayaking and hiking and enjoying the great outdoors, in reality I don't think it's meant for me.

And one more thing: Alaska Air's monopolistic control of the routes in/out of Alaska are a prime example of why monopolies should be discouraged. When I was buying my ticket, I spent literally an entire work day researching various routes. They kept wanting me to have five stops and fly all over Alaska before getting to my final destination; also, to fly in/out of the state costs at least $500, no matter if you're flying from Seattle or LA. I ended up buying two back-to-back tickets and crossed my fingers. Even with that preparation, I was surprised by an unmentioned stop in Ketchikan on the way from Juneau to Seattle. Bastards. Plus I've never seen such surly flight attendants.

I do realize that the opening title would imply that I had once been cool, an assertion that many who know me would dispute. Well, to that I say: my mom thinks I'm cool.


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