Finally!

After much trial and error, I have made a great discovery. If you want to get credit for bringing your office candy and yet not actually have to share any of it, I strenuously suggest you avoid the entire chocolate family. Instead, show up with red hots - Texas-sized (which means roughly the size of your thumb) - and watch as people take one bite and then immediately spit the rest in the garbage. Suckers. More for me.