Her Ladyship

Notes from the gutter.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Did you know...

That Hershey's makes 70 million kisses - a DAY? I had no idea that we as a nation could stomach that much chocolate. It's impressive in a morbid sort of way.

Hershey Park was an absolute blast. It's nice to do something completely and utterly cheezy every once in a while, and this definitely qualified. We made a rookie error, however, which came close to costing us dearly. Right after we got there, we decided that the two-hour drive had made us hungry, so let's go grab a bite. The six of us got fries and various grilled cheese products, and THEN went on our first ride. See where this is going? The ride involves you going verrry fast around a loop-de-loop, halting, then going around it backwards. The reverse trip damn near brought back everyone's fried foods. Could've been quite ugly.

Overall, the rollercoasters were as rocket-fast and thrill-inducing as one could hope for. I screamed myself hoarse: my poor vocal chords haven't yet recovered.

I must admit that while they had Hershey's products all over the entrance, I was a bit miffed at the lack of products within in the park itself. The rides had generic rollercoaster names and there was nary a chocolate river nor Oompa Loompa in sight. They did, however, have candy bar mascots running around. I made friends with a Hershey Bar.

Afterwards, we went to Chocolate World just outside the park's gates and went on a free tour explaining how they make chocolate. My god, it's a complicated process. Who knew? It makes you wonder how they clear a profit on a fifty-cent candy bar. I guess this is a situation where economies of scale kick in. And the piece de resistance was the visit to the company store. I loaded up on all sorts of "limited edition" Hershey candies. Yes I am a sucker for that sort of marketing.

But I do have my reasons. Every year, my friends and I do what we call a "Glitter Beach Weekend," where we pack all our sparkly tiaras/boas/lotion and head for Dewey Beach, Delaware, for a weekend of guilty pleasures. We drink crap beer, eat crap greasy food, and dance at crap beach discos. A few years ago, we'd stopped for gas on the way back to DC. I nipped into the station to grab a drink for the road, whereupon I stopped in my tracks. Before me was the motherload: dark chocolate Reese's peanut butter cups! But because I'd been shovelling terrible food into my system all weekend, I didn't think my body could handle any more processed foods. And besides, this was a wee gas station in Delaware: surely I would find a dark chocolate Reese's peanut butter cup elsewhere, right? WRONG. I have never seen them since - only the stupid white chocolate versions, which are so not even in the same time zone as the dark chocolate version (or at least, as they would taste in my dreams). Sigh.

I even checked at the Hershey store, which confirmed that they are definitely not making them any more. Take it from me, folks: carpe diem. When life presents you with one-of-a-kind candies, do not hesitate to make the most of it.

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