Her Ladyship

Notes from the gutter.

Friday, January 06, 2006

What we have is a failure to communicate

So today I had an unexpected surprise from the UPS guy. No, not like that. He dropped off a box from my aunt and uncle who live in Florida. I figured it was a late holiday gift, prompted by my mailing them one of the xmas cards The Texan and I sent out this year (featuring the pets in combat. Best. Christmas. Card. Ever).

Imagine my surprise to see a card with a very pregnant woman's belly on the front; the inside said something like, "Some miracles are immediate, while others take nine months. Congratulations!" I'm reading it, still trying to figure out how that could be taken as a xmas card. And then I saw the baby clothes and blanket tucked under a very sweet letter from my aunt, congratulating me and The Texan.

This was one of those times where you start to think, wait, did I forget about something? Am I actually pregnant and just blocked it out? Because if I am, this is news to me.

Compounding the situation was that while I like my aunt and uncle, I don't really know them that well. They lived on the other side of the country while we were growing up and I really only correspond with them a couple of times a year. So I didn't feel comfortable just calling them up to ask what the hell was going on with the package. Instead, like a mature adult, I passed the buck on to my dad.

Turned out that there was a sentence I'd written in my xmas card that both my aunt and uncle had read as "I am pregnant." Apparently my aunt is going to mail my dad a photocopy so he can see what they were talking about. He thanked them for the gift but assured them that I am not expecting. Which, just to make clear, I am not.

Those of you who know me are laughing right about now because this is totally my fault. "Chicken scratches" doesn't even begin to express how sloppy my handwriting is. I keep a journal that I leave in plain sight, secure in the knowledge that no one will ever be able to decipher it. Friends who I've known for decades still struggle with reading my postcards. So I've decided that I will have to really make an effort and work on my handwriting before I create any more rifts in the family.

That does raise the point: how do I thank them for this? They kindly told my dad I could just pass the gifts on to someone who could use them, which was very generous of them, so I feel I should write....something to them. I just don't know what - the usual thank you note wouldn't seem to apply here. Suggestions are welcome.


  • At 9:10 PM, Anonymous Mags said…

    This is the best story every. You are infamous for your penmanship. I'm rusty and gave up on your postcard from Guatamala. I pity your future students!


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