Her Ladyship

Notes from the gutter.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

In the days of yore

Last night, I was driving home from the gym and skipping idly through the radio, searching for a station that doesn't suck, when I came across a weird ad. It was a mother and her four wholesome-sounding children playing in the snow. I was trying to figure out what it was for and something struck as the whole thing being off, so I listened further, instead of continuing to scan the dial.

Turned out it was an old-fashioned radio play. I can't even begin to think of any other time I've heard something like that. And of course it was espousing good old-fashioned values. Turned out the family was that of a minister of a struggling church and the richest church elder was going to close the church (DUN DUN DUNNNN), leaving the town without one. I think it had something to do with him owning the land that the church was on and wanting to turn it into a heathenish spa and resort.* The whole thing was very "7th Heaven".**

Anyways, The Texan and I head out to California tomorrow. We're going to be in San Francisco for a couple of days, then we get to experience the beauty and glory that is the 5 driving down central California to LA. I've tried to express to The Texan exactly how ugly central California is but I don't think I've been able to do it justice. I just want to make sure we stop in Gilroy and get some garlic.

Then we're staying, not in the house where I grew up, but in a hotel one town over for the holidays and visiting my parents. This was decided for a variety of reasons, and mostly due to the fact that Mama Ladyship is still in weak health. So me, The Texan, my sister Dust Bunny, and her husband Road Runner are all staying at the local La Quinta.*** Par-tay!!

Anyways, happy holidays to all! Hope the baby Jebus brings you everything on your list.

* If given the option between staying at a four-star spa or going to church, um, no contest. Please don't strike me down!

** The last time I was in London, I spent a lot of time at in Camden Yard, and much of that was spent snickering and taking pictures of everything that had Camden in its name. If you have to ask why I thought that was funny, that means that you have a life.

*** The local La Quinta became the Ladyship family's hotel of choice a few years ago when Dust Bunny and Roadrunner were sent to another, lesser chain. Let's call it, oh, the Smotel 7. They walked in to see that the front desk person was separated from the clientele with a thick plate of glass. As they checked in, they were handed their towels. They went up to the room and were treated to heavy drafts of pot from the surrounding rooms. And the less that's said about the cleanliness of the room (or lack thereof), the better. I think they lasted about 10 minutes before deciding, "Oh HELL no" and skedaddling for La Quinta's greener pastures.


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