It's best not to lose your iPod...

...right before you're going to be spending 90 hours in airplanes over a six-week period. Just in case you were wondering. Unfortunately, that's exactly what I did. And I did on the very first flight kicking off all that insanity.

The Texan and I have pretty different tastes in music, but we do agree on dance music. So he went to the Interweb and downloaded a bunch of songs played on our favorite station, KNGY 92.7 from San Francisco, so we could have our own little dance party list. I put it on my iPod and, attempting to save money and the hassle of being a two iPod household, The Texan bought a splitter that would allow two headphones to be plugged in at the same time. We figured we could both listen to dance music as we headed west toward Asia for our honeymoon. WRONG.

All those times I looked like a goof at a rock show with earplugs sure paid off: I have better hearing than The Texan does. However, this can backfire on you. We discovered on the very first leg that what was a comfortable level of volume for me was far too low for him, and what was a comfortable level for him was earsplittingly painful for me. After squabbling over what a good setting would be, we gave up and I won sole custody of the iPod, a responsibility I clearly was not ready for.

We had a direct flight to LAX, where we had a seven-hour layover. We went to Santa Monica for dinner and killed time in a few bars. Soon, we were back in an airplane, this time for the monster 14-hour-flight from LAX to Hong Kong. As we were getting situated, The Texan asked me if he could listen to the iPod. Sure, I replied magnaminously. Just let me dig it out of my bag...wuh-oh. In all my travels, as I have upgraded from Walkmen to Discmen to an iPod, I have never, EVER done anything like that before. Guess the married me is a ditzy dame.

I still miss my iPod, even though - sniff - it's been out of my life for a couple of months now. I especially feel its absence every time I go to the gym and get subjected to the world's crappiest workout music. And the time I flew home from Atlanta, at night, when the reading lights weren't working, and the guy next to me insisted on talking? (Sample joke: Why isn't Wal-Mart in Iraq? Because there are targets everywhere! Haw haw haw.) That's a punishment that doesn't fit the crime of being forgetful.

Cruising

Last night, The Texan and I decided to take advantage of the late daylight hours to go on a drive through Hill Country after work and take some pictures. Specifically, he had a new camera toy he wanted to try out. It's something delightfully called a "panosaurus," which is an AWESOME name for a contraption that you put on your tripod to hold your camera steady so you can take a decent panoramic picture. Seriously, isn't that the best name ever? Whenever I speak of it to him - and I absolutely find reasons to bring it up often - I always use the big announcer voice: "PANNN-NO-SAURRR-USSSS." Try it, it's fun.

Oh, and it apparently works too. He got some decent pictures, he thinks.

As for me, I was responsible for navigating. I did some research and found out that FM 337 is supposed to be one of the most scenic drives in this neck of the woods, so off we went. We drove it to Lost Maples State Park. 337 was quite lovely... and completely deserted. We pulled over once to take pictures and it's kind of spooky how loud the countryside can be. Sure, there aren't any sirens or car radios blaring, but man can those bugs make a lot of noise.

We did indeed see maples at Lost Maples, and they apparently change colors in the fall. Who needs to go to New England? I'm sure these are just as nice. Right.

One of my favorite things about these drives is that you can still see a lot of rural America. We passed through several little towns that were nothing more than a post office.

We also drove through quite a lot of water. We've been inundated with rains this spring - it's almost like we've got our own personal monsoon season - and in fact I was pretty excited to drive through D'Hennis, which made the Los Angeles Times last weekend as they had a picture of people walking through flooded streets. There's not a whole lot there - it's not until you get to Hondo where you are in a town that has a Dairy Queen and Dollar General and that you know you've hit the bright lights/big city life again.

Emails spawned by this trip home

Dear Phoenix' airport,

We were delayed at every step of the way, thanks to you, both coming and going to LA. You, kind sir, suck. Everything about your airport sucks. Except for the Burger King in the first B wing, whose fries fresh from the oil vat were like little bits of cholesterol heaven. Your majesty, ditch this loser airport before it brings you down with it.

Yours,

Her Ladyship

**************

To the Gen-Xer striding through the airport with a copy of the latest Harry Potter at eye level, cover face out,

Yes, it was one day after the book dropped and you, like the 60 million other people who had preordered it, had a copy. Bully for you. You must be very proud.

Grow up,

Her Ladyship

**********

Dear Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf,

Baby, I know the truth. You were the first with your Ice Blended Mocha - Starbucks' Crappaccino is a cheap imitation - and you're the best. As far as I'm concerned, you're the alpha and the omega of frothed coffee drinks. Never change. Except could you please start building more stores outside of California? As the hair band says, there is a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you.

Baci,

Her Ladyship

Darkening this blog's door

I meant that metaphorically, of course. Um, look at that - two months went by! In my defense, I was travelling for five out of the six weeks after the wedding. Let me tell you, any time you think, of course I can go on a business trip four days after getting back from my honeymoon, how bad could the jet lag be? Just kill yourself then, because the jet lag will be horrible. Totally worth it though. We went to Thailand and China for our honeymoon, then went to Brussels for work, then came back for four days, and I went to DC for a week, also for work.

Many stories to tell about the various trips, but for now, I'm gearing up for my next trip and one I'm afraid is going to be the least pleasant of them all. Mama Ladyship has been very ill, which is the other main reason I haven't updated. It's hard to be entertaining when you're in a funk. We leave on Thursday for a long weekend in LA to see how she's doing. I'm hoping it's better than I'm imagining, although realistically....probably not.

Anyways, to sign off on a good note: our wedding was, for me and the Texan at least, a total blast. Even though I could have cheerfully eviscerated everyone I came in contact with during the three hours prior (Hello, my name is Bridezilla, how may I help you?), it really ended up being a fantastic party. One word of advice: you may think that wrapping chairs with sashes is extravagantly wasteful spending. WRONG. Eventually, as the night wears on, some smart-ass will tied one around his head and then let the games begin. At some point, everyone on the dance floor had one and was using it to interpretively dance to some Arabic pop music. We even managed to convince everyone that no, those weren't party favors and you couldn't take them home. Although we returned them with god knows' what crinkled and spilled all over them.